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You Don’t Have to Hide Anymore
Thom Morris
Reasons for hiding
Shame/Guilt
Fear
Change/growth
Failure
Intimacy
What is your reason?
Problems that hiding from your h3 may cause
You may feel incompetent, not good enough, damaged goods, dirty, stupid, ugly, worthless, bad, disgusting, weak, unworthy, undeserving, and inadequate, you get the point. See the problem.
Substance abuse, addictions, compulsive behavior, and promiscuity are some of the ways we learn to hide.
Disobey God
Some solutions
12 steps
Asking God to help us
Learning His truth
Finding a Sponsor and/or Accountability Partner
Friendship/fellowship
Grace
There are many ways and reasons that we hide our secrets from our families, friends and even ourselves. We can hide behind our smiles, our false fronts and even our activities. Do we hide because we are afraid, or because we are ashamed, or guilty about our secrets?
33 if I have concealed my sin as men do, by hiding my guilt in my heart 34 because I so feared the crowd and so dreaded the contempt of the clans that I kept silent and would not go outside Job 31:33-34
What or how are you hiding?
Tonight we’re going to look at our reasons for hiding, problems that hiding may cause and some solutions that can help us find the key to unlock the chains that are holding us back from our recoveries.
Let’s take a look at some examples of unhealthy shame/guilt:
• You see wrong behavior or failings as a reflection of “who you are” or your true identity. When you do something bad or make a mistake, you see that as evidence that you are flawed.
• You see normal lapses, errors and failings as the revelation of your true nature, which is flawed, rather than being as part of being human. You may feel overwhelmed when you experience such a lapse because you think it reveals that something is terribly wrong with you.
• You accept part of the blame when others violate you. You see yourself as someone who deserves to be abused or treated poorly.
• You see avoidance of shame-producing behavior or lifestyle as futile since you believe the behavior or lifestyle is the natural result of being, “the kind of person” you consider yourself to be.
• Whenever you experience a normal human failing, and make an honest mistake, suffer a disappointment, violate your moral standards, or have your boundaries violated others, it may trigger a downward spiral of depression or addictive behavior.
• You regard trying to change your life for the better as living a lie or being hypocritical. You believe that your steps in a positive direction are phony, and you negate them instead of viewing them as evidence that you can change.
• You may appear to others to be utterly shameless in some or all areas of your life. When you shut down the influence of healthy shame you lose your strength of boundaries. You may eventually be worn down to the point that you give in to your overwhelming shame and act out in ways that show no sense of healthy shame and no awareness of legitimate moral guilt.
The shame from the past can leave us feeling inadequate and somehow unworthy of being loved. As a result of the lies, we have learned to lie in order to cover up who we believe we really are, and we act in ways that either prove or disprove our shame.
Fear is also a reason we use for hiding. Fear comes in many different forms.
• Fear of change/growth-We may be afraid that people will not like us if we change.
• Fear of failure-If we change we may fail.
• Fear of intimacy-If someone gets too close they may not like us if they find out what we are really like.
What are some of the problems that arise from our hiding?
• You may feel incompetent
• Not good enough
• Damaged goods
• Dirty
• Stupid
• Ugly
• Worthless
• Bad
• Disgusting
• Weak
• Unworthy
• Undeserving, and inadequate
It can cause some of these issues:
• Substance abuse
• Addictions
• Compulsive behavior, and promiscuity.
It can motivate us to disobey God; certain fears often prompt us to do things which are displeasing to God. Such fears have often:
• Led people to cheat
• Hang with the wrong crowd
• Give in to improper sexual advances.
How can break free from our fears, shame and guilt? Here are some examples:
• Using the 12 Steps and 8 Principles of “CR”
By working the steps and principles daily it will allow you to become truthful with yourself
• Finding a Sponsor and/or Accountability Partner
You will have someone to guide you through the steps and be there for you when you are struggling
• Friendship/Fellowship
Being with friends will help keep the negative thoughts from continuously attacking you
• Learning about Grace
Here are 2 definitions of Grace:
1. The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
2. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
• Learning the Truth by reading the Bible
• Asking God to help you
By asking God to help, He can show us how to break the chains of our past so that they will stop tormenting us.
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 2Corinthians 4:2
Notice how God knows who we already are; we can also know ourselves like God does by being honest with ourselves.
We know He hears us and helps us according to this passage from Psalm 34:17;
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
“But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem . Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT)
In today’s passage, God is talking to King Jehoshaphat and the Israelites. They’re about to be attacked by three enemies: the Moabites, the Ammonites, and the Meunites.
Jehoshaphat had to be worried about how his people could defend themselves in such a battle, but God knew exactly what Jehoshaphat was thinking. He said, “You will not have to fight in this battle.” Now, that’s the kind of battle I like!
What God tells Jehoshaphat in this passage, and what he would remind us today, is this: “The battle is not yours; it’s mine. You don’t have to fight in it.”
In other words, it’s God’s problem. Let him solve it.
The fact is if you are God’s child, then your problems are his problems. And he’s much better at fighting your battles and solving your problems than you will ever be. Your job is to trust him to work it all out. Perhaps the reason we have so many tired, fatigued, and discouraged Christians is because we think, “It all depends on me.”
The day you resign as General Manager of the Universe, you’re going to find that it doesn’t fall apart. You can relax in faith, trusting that God is able to run things without your help.
Twice in this passage it says, “Don’t be afraid,” and “Don’t be discouraged.” When you face a seemingly impossible situation, don’t be afraid and don’t be discouraged. Has God ever lost a battle? No. He doesn’t lose battles.
There’s an important phrase in verse 17. God tells Jehoshaphat, “Take your positions and stand firm.” What does it mean to stand firm? It means to have a mental attitude of quiet confidence. It is never God’s will for you to run from a difficult situation. I’ve discovered that when I run from a difficult situation, inevitably God always brings it back around and gives me another chance. It’s inevitable. Why?
Because God wants us to learn – and he wants to teach us through experience – that in every situation he is sufficient. He is competent and capable and he will meet our needs in that situation. Don’t be afraid; fear is the opposite of faith.
You stand firm on two things:
• The character of God – He’s faithful. He does not bring us this far just to let us down. He doesn’t bring you out on a limb and then cut off the limb. Have faith in the nature and character of God.
• The truth of his Word – God’s Word is faithful. You can count on the promises found in the Bible.
Stand still. Remember who the battle belongs to. Trust that He is able to deliver you. And then watch Him do it!
Finally I want to leave you with this truth from God, please read with me.
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2
Let go and let God!
SANITY- Acceptance
Strength
Acceptance
New Life
Integrity
Trust
Your Higher Power
Thom did an overview of SANITY. He talked in depth about sanity vs. insanity. JD talked in depth about trust. This week, we’re going to talk about sanity.
Principle Two:
Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.
We all believe this on some level because we are here. What does acceptance mean? There are plenty of dictionary versions, mental attitude that something is believable, accepting with approval, but in the CR step study book, acceptance is:
Acceptance:
We learn to have realistic expectations of ourselves and others.
That’s a pretty powerful sentence. It should be two sentences! Learn to have realistic expectations of ourselves. Learn to have realistic expectations of others.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7 (NIV)
We are all human, and it is human nature to be sinful. Christ accepted us and loves us as we are. It’s like parenting, you love your kids, although sometimes you don’t always like the things they do.
Why don’t we have realistic expectations of ourselves and others?
Life Tapes - We all have these little tapes playing in our heads. These tapes come from our life experiences, childhood, other people, society, pretty much from everything that we see and experience. Now this sounds like if we’ve seen all this stuff, then we should have realistic expectations of ourselves and others.
An expectation is an expected result. Some tapes might be your parents voices telling you things, they might be a tragic event, even things you’ve seen on TV. Sometimes instead of comparing others to your values and standards, we compare people to each other. We think if one person can do something, everyone should be able to.
As a graphic artist, people see my work and they immediately have an expectation that I can draw and sketch. I can’t. It’s an unrealistic expectation.
We also can’t fathom why people don’t think like we do! We are all unique beings with different life experiences. All of our life tapes are different.
Awareness – I like this word awareness. In CR, the first thing you learn is about denial. I think there’s a step ahead of that, the step of awareness. Once you are aware that you have an issue, then you can choose to be in denial about it, or accept it, face it, and deal with it.
This is why I call my ex-husbands affair a blessing. We started marriage counseling where I was made aware that I had many issues from my childhood abuse. These issues were part of the reason I had so many struggles in my life. At that point I had a choice. Be in denial or face them and deal with them.
When you are aware, you are taking the time to think about why people react the way they do. This should also extend to yourself. Why are you upset or angry about something? Is it because it’s against your values or beliefs? Is it because this person is out to get you? Did something happen in their life that made them do things this way? When you start thinking about yourself and others this way, first it’s a really weird, uncomfortable process if you haven’t done it. But it gives you more understanding, you can make better choices and it helps us all have more realistic expectations.
Control - When I get up an say the things I struggle with, this should be on my list!
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Giving things up to God. We have to trust that He will work in our lives in every situation. It’s human nature to want to take control and fix situations. When we process situations or issues in our lives, we tend to use our cognitive skills and think about how to fix a problem or situation.
Obviously, we do have to process that way, but it’s also important to process how God will work in that situation. What that means is to pray about it, for God to do His will. Many times we react out of emotion, or react in the moment of the situation, when we should have stopped to consider how God would want us to handle the situation. Because we are in control! Right?
I know He helps with this. When I found out my ex-husband was having an affair, I found out because I found some printed emails that he threw in the trash. So I reacted out of my anger, set up an email account posing as my husband and got a lot of info on what was going on. A few weeks later she sent me one of those mass emails, the kind you send to friends, relatives and co-workers, with a comprehensive list of all her email addresses. That ended up in my ‘proof packet’. So a year later when I found out he was still having the affair, and found pics of them in the wheel well of his car, I was so angry. I was going to scan them in the computer and send them out to all her friends and co-workers. That, for many obvious reasons, would have been a really bad thing to do. So, God crashed my computer to give me the cooling off period and processing time I needed. I never did send them out. Later in a staff meeting when we were sharing things about God working in our lives, I mentioned how he crashed my computer. Paul asked, “Don’t you mean how satan crashed your computer?” I said, “Oh no, it was clearly a God thing!”
All that to say this. I thought by sending those pictures out, it would embarrass them both and that I could stop the affair. Nothing I could do was going to make my ex-husband stop the affair. I could not control him. And I couldn’t control the woman in the affair by sending her nude photos out. What I could control is how I reacted.
In this step study lesson, one question is:
What areas of your life are you ready to release control of and hand over to God?
These CR step study books might be little, but they sure ask some powerful questions!!
The Proverbs verse says to acknowledge Him. When we are processing a situation, we should acknowledge Him. Ask for help and wisdom to do what is right.
Can you think of a time when your own understanding got you into trouble? (Another step study question) Again, because we are in control and we can fix anything, right? I have a list. A very long list.
Realistic expectations:
Control of others
Once you let go of the control and realize you cannot control others, but can only control your own thoughts and actions, it’s like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.
When I started my healing process and went to see a therapist, the first thing I learned is that I can’t control other people. I had never really thought about it. Wow, makes sense though. I also quickly realized the insanity of unrealistic expectations that I placed on other people.
If you’ve been divorced and have children, you can relate to this story. Co-parenting with someone setting a less than good example. It’s important to me that my children learn right from wrong. I would see their dad doing and saying things around them that were not appropriate, or better worded, against my values and parenting beliefs. Early on, I had unrealistic expectations that he would change, that he would not let my kids watch R rated movies, and stop doing things I didn’t approve of. When he did these things, I would get angry, and want to make him stop. Once I had realistic expectations, I actually had more control over the situation. I can’t control what he does, but how I react to that is what I can do. I can have a calm, not emotional conversation with him. I can talk about these things with my kids. I can always be honest with my kids. I can set a good example. And I don’t have a bunch of anger or anxiety consuming me.
James 4:1-3 (New International Version)
1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
You do not have, because you do not ask God. When we give things up to God, it’s a huge weight lifted off our shoulders. He’s already in control anyway. When placing expectations, we should pray about that. That God will help us have realistic expectations. We live in a broken world and there will always be others sinning against us. Jim and Paul have said in many sermons how hurt people, hurt people. We’ve all been hurt somewhere down the line. If we accept our hurts, start the healing process, then we won’t hurt each other. People in this statement is meaning others and ourselves.
The first thing we learn in CR is that we have to step out of denial. Part of the serenity prayer that we recite every week;
…accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it…
Sometimes when we say things over and over, we don’t really pay attention to it. Or maybe it’s just that I’m ADHD and have that issue. ☺ What would it look like for you to “accept hardship as a pathway to peace” in your life?
Realistic expectations:
Control of ourselves
Principal 2: …that I matter to Him.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
When I started my healing process, I could not apply this to myself. Everyone else was created in God’s image, but not me.
Another therapy experience. This was a role playing thing. I really hate role playing!!! I had to sit there and have a talk with my 5 year old self. I would never admit to my therapist that this worked, because then he would keep making me do it! However, through that process I realized that I was angry with my 5 year old self for not having control over my situation of abuse. I was angry at myself and had an unrealistic expectation that a 5 year old child should have control over adult parents.
The CR bible is amazing! At the beginning of each book, there is a wealth of additional information. Theme, encouragement, reflection, and challenge. It gives a deeper understanding of the Bible, the people writing it and how it applies to our lives.
1 Thessalonians 5:5-7 (New International Version)
5You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.
It’s easier to look at others than it is to look at ourselves. Mostly because if we realize we have faults, we know we have to deal with them. Also, when you are too close to something, many times you can’t see the obvious. When I design graphics for Sunday, I work really hard and I just don’t even want to look at them anymore. I have to send them out to my creative team and ask for feedback. And they’ll come back with the obvious things that I could have seen had I stepped back and looked. This is where good relationships come in. Thom talked in his testimony about important friendships. My true friends, they can tell me when I’m not having realistic expectations of myself.
We need to be self-aware. That is a choice that we have to make.
Romans 12:14-16
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another…
The big thing here is living in harmony with one another. Having realistic expectations of ourselves and others is a big part of this.
REMEMBER these things:
Life Tapes: It’s important to remember that other’s life tapes are unique to them, and we all have something to offer each other.
Awareness: Choose to be self-aware.
Control: Give it to God. (He has it anyway)
We will be focusing on Principle and step 2 and our topic will be Sanity.
Principle 2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that He has the power to help me recover. "Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Mathew 5:4)
Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)
We’ve all heard the definition of insanity; I’d like to share that with you again along with the definition of sanity:
Insanity has been described as “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time.” Whereas sanity has been described as “wholeness of mind; making decisions based on the truth.” We can find that truth in the written word of God.
I’ve had a lot of many insanity “moments” but it seems like money issues have always been like a plague to me. 2000 started my world of trouble; it was then that I started to make “real money.” It was like the shackles were off of me! I started spending and spending like there was no tomorrow, because I didn’t think it would ever end. But it all came crashing down on 9/11/2001. I had been selling to the Naval Base in Jax, that day turned my financial success into disaster.
I finally got back on my feet 2 years later, within one year I was back to where I started again. Once again I turned it around, once again I made many mistakes (Kim, kids etc.) This brings us to today.
Prayer and asking God for help in decisions is the key to sanity.
Now let us break down sanity based on the acrostic.
Strength – Just give us strength to face the fears that in the past have caused us to fight, flee, or freeze.
“God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear.” (Psalm 46:1)
“My mind and my body may grow weak, but God is my strength; he is all I need.” (Psalm 73:26)
Acceptance – We learn to have realistic expectations of ourselves and others.
We do not need to rely on what other people expect us to do, but we should rely on what God wants us to do. We need to believe that we do matter to God and to others. We also need to accept others as they are, not as we would have them. As we grow in recovery we will learn not to relate to others in the same old ways; we’ll stop expecting a different response of results from those that have already been given us time and time again. We begin to find the sanity for which we’ve been searching. And we remember, as expressed in the Serenity Prayer, to ask God for the courage to change the things we can change and to accept what’s beyond our control.
“Accept one another, then, for the glory of God, as Christ has accepted you.” (Romans 15:7)
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
New life – We discover that we have an opportunity for a 2nd chance! We do not have to live by our old ways any longer.
When we accept Jesus into our hearts, we start to become reformed. We gradually start making better choices.
I remember when I first accepted Jesus into my heart, I was so happy; I can’t describe the joy that I felt knowing that I was no longer alone. At the same time I felt very small, like I did not really deserve this “new life.” As I grew in my faith, I began to believe that I did deserve this new opportunity that God gave to me. I was truly a new person, my thoughts and actions changed each day. Scripture helps to explain this.
“When someone becomes a Christian he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17, TLB)
Integrity – We begin to follow through on our promises. Others start trusting what we say.
Integrity - adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
“Nothing brings me greater joy than hearing that my children are living in the truth.” (3 John 4, PH)
Let me ask those of you who have children. How does it make you feel when your child tells you the truth? Just think about how God feels when we tell the truth and live in His truth. When we live in truth, what do we have to fear? Repercussions? How can truth ever really hurt you?
Trust – We begin to trust relationships with others and our Higher Power, Jesus Christ!
Last February I found myself in a place where I had never been before, in a state of depression that was pretty much immobilizing. I sat at home, watching TV, surfing the internet day in and day out; not leaving the house unless I absolutely had to. I prayed, yet I did it haphazardly not really talking to God; I talked to my friends but did not trust them enough to tell them about my problems. Toward the end of February, a good friend of mine needed a place to stay so I invited him into my home. That was a start of my recovery process as well as his. I started to get out a bit more, with the help of Bruce, Jody, and the Tuggey’s I started to trust others again. I soon started to trust myself with God again. We started our Launch Team for CR soon after that and that really started to help my recovery from depression. It really boggles the mind how God works; when we feel alone he is still truly there. As JD pointed out a couple of weeks ago in the poem “Footprints in the Sand” He never leaves you, you ignore Him. I’d like to share the poem with you now:
Footprints in the Sand
By Mary Stevenson
Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord. After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.” The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”
“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.” (Proverbs 29:25 GNB)
Your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, loves you just the way you are! - No matter what you have done in the past, God wants to forgive it!
“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
No matter what shape your life is in today, together God and you can handle it!
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. (1 Corinthians 10:13, THE MESSAGE)
And if you take action to complete the next principle, your future will be blessed and secure!
“So don’t be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.” (Matthew 6:34, TLB)
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.
TRUST
I’m going to take the “T” from SANITY that Thom spoke about 2 weeks ago and hang out on TRUST. When the massive beef recall unfolded in California last week, my confidence or my trust in eating beef was questioned. For the majority of my life I’ve trusted that the burgers or steaks I eat at restaurants wouldn’t make me sick. I’m not saying that I’m going “vegan”. I’m just practicing caution!
Principle Two says to “Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.”
Believing involves trusting. That principle could easily read “earnestly trust that God exists, trust that I matter to Him, and trust that He has the power to help me recover.” TRUST means several things…
In its verb form, TRUST means to place confidence in, to commit or place in one’s care or keeping, to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of.
Examples:
1) I’ve got several good friends who are pilots. One built his own plane. Notice I said “built” his own plane. Story of our flight… I placed a lot of confidence in my friend Larry!
2) When Heather and I took a week-long trip 4 years ago to England we took our 2 oldest children. We left our 2 youngest with some very close friends. We committed them in their care, so much so that we felt motivated to write our living will before the trip. Those close friends are near the top of the guardian list if Heather and I both face early deaths.
3) When I submitted my will and my life over to God years ago, I relied on the truthfulness and accuracy of the Bible when it said that if I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead, that I would be saved. I trusted that what the Bible said was true.
In its noun form, TRUST means assured reliance and confidence on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.
1) Again, when I submitted my life to Christ’s control, I placed my trust on the character, ability, strength, and truth of Jesus Christ.
We trust our life to complete strangers every day. We trust, for example, that oncoming traffic will stop at red lights at intersections. We trust that our banker won’t steal our money if we don’t look at our account multiple times a day. We trust that our kids are well taken care of at their school. Why, then, is it so hard for us to trust our life to the care of God, whose eye is always on us?
Let’s take another look at Principle Three. Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control. By understanding and practicing this principle we make the one-time, yet permanent, decision to turn our life over to God’s care. Our choice, not chance, determines our destiny. And that decision requires trust – putting our faith into action.
Here are a few of my favorite verses on TRUST.
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:6
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. Jeremiah 17:6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Great example of this:
David, a 2-year old with leukemia, was taken by him mother, Deborah, to Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, to see Dr. John Truman who specializes in treating children with cancer and various blood diseases. Dr. Truman's prognosis was devastating: "He has a 50-50 chance." The countless clinic visits, the blood tests, the intravenous drugs, the fear and pain--the mother's ordeal can be almost as bad as the child's because she must stand by, unable to bear the pain herself. David never cried in the waiting room, and although his friends in the clinic had to hurt him and stick needles in him, he hustled in ahead of him mother with a smile, sure of the welcome he always got.
When he was three, David had to have a spinal tap--a painful procedure at any age. It was explained to him that, because he was sick, Dr. Truman had to do something to make him better. "If it hurts, remember it's because he loves you," Deborah said. The procedure was horrendous. It took three nurses to hold David still, while he yelled and sobbed and struggled. When it was almost over, the tiny boy, soaked in sweat and tears, looked up at the doctor and gasped, "Thank you, Dr. Tooman, for my hurting."
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
Trusting our True Higher Power, Jesus Christ, and trusting others helps us make real friends in our recovery, in our groups, and in our church. These relationships are of a totally different quality than our past associations with acquaintances and fair-weather friends whom we knew while we were active in our addictions and compulsions. In recovery we find brothers and sisters in Christ, people who are willing to walk beside us on our journey through the principles – friends we can trust, with whom we can share and whose encouragement helps us mutually grow in Christ.
Principle 3 Prayer – Dear God, I have tried to do it all by myself, on my own power, and I have failed. Today, I want to turn my life over to You. I ask You to be my Lord and my Savior. You are the One and only Higher Power! I ask that You help me start to think less about me and my will. I want to daily turn my will over to You, to daily seek Your direction and wisdom for my life. Please continue to help me overcome my hurts, hang-ups, and habits and may that victory over them help others as they see Your power at work in changing my life. Help me to do Your will always. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
ISBN: 1578564522
Book Description
If God loves me, why does life hurt so much?
“A new way to live is available to us,” writes widely respected author and counselor Larry Crabb, “a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus.”
You’ll see how God moves you from shattered dreams to better dreams to the highest dream– and the joy that comes from dreaming it.
This is a book that will...
draw you to your closest Friend,
help you discover your deepest
spiritual desires,
point you to your greatest hope,
help you face your deepest pain,
and invite you to your highest joy.
Join Larry Crabb on a life-changing adventure of encountering God in the midst of life’s most difficult times. And learn to live beyond your Shattered Dreams.
From the Inside Flap
If God loves me, why does life hurt so much?
"A new way to live is available to us," writes widely respected author and counselor Larry Crabb, "a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus."
You'll see how God moves you from shattered dreams to better dreams to the highest dream– and the joy that comes from dreaming it.
This is a book that will...
draw you to your closest Friend,
help you discover your deepest
spiritual desires,
point you to your greatest hope,
help you face your deepest pain,
and invite you to your highest joy.
Join Larry Crabb on a life-changing adventure of encountering God in the midst of life's most difficult times. And learn to live beyond your Shattered Dreams.
ISBN: 0310256577
Book Description
A former sex addict himself, Dr. Mark Laaser offers help and hope for regaining and maintaining sexual integrity, self-control, and wholesome, biblical sexuality.
From the Back Cover
Mark has eloquently unraveled the mystery behind addictive behavior: when our relationships are not alive and growing, the temptation for various kinds of addictions is unleashed..Dr. Gary Smalley
With todays rampant availability of Internet pornography, sexual addiction has become a national epidemic that affects up to 10 percent of Christians. As devastating as any drug habit, it brings heartbreak and despair to those it entangles. But there is help for men and women caught in sexual addictions downward spiral.
This book offers a path that leads beyond compulsive thoughts and behaviors to healing and transformation. Sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness, Dr. Mark Laaser traces the roots of the problem, discusses its patterns and impact, and maps out a biblical approach to self-control and sexual integrity.
Previously titled Faithful and True, this revision includes an all-new section that deals with sexual addiction in the church. Other important changes reflect cultural trends, incorporate current research, and place a greater emphasis on spiritual growth. This book also addresses the unique needs and issues of female sex addicts.
Whether you know someone with a sexual addiction or struggle yourself, Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction points the way to understanding, wholeness, and holiness.
The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dan B. Allender
ISBN: 0891092897
What an amazing and helpful book. This book is about childhood sexual abuse, but it really sheds light on many types of childhood abuse and how it affects victims as adults. It gives clarity and understanding on relationship issues from many different perspectives.
This book would be great for someone that has already started the healing process as well as someone just starting it. One of the editorial review writers said it best: "These powerful pages bring the realities of damaging human experience into the perspective of a loving God. With professional skill and spiritual insight from the crucible of experience, Dr. Allender blends a keen understanding of the dynamics of sexual abuse with the practical application of Christian truth." --John Powell, Ph.D
